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Work with me

Two empty chairs facing each other with sheepskin covers in the ready for an Imago couples therapy session.

What makes working with me different

I don't work the way most couples therapists do.

1. I'm a couples therapist and a coach and I work in a very precise and concise way towards a clear goal. For this reason I prefer to work with you in a program which is themed on the specific challenges you're facing in your relationship. However you're also able to come for fortnightly sessions and not be signed up to a program if this is what you want. You get to decide how deep and fast you want to go.

2. For many couples in traditional couples therapy, you can find yourself coming to sessions week after week, not really knowing what you're working on, and how long it's going to take or how much it will cost.

I don't work like this.

When you sign up for a program with me, there's a clear goal, a clear path, and a clear, finite time and money commitment. We track your progress and I keep you accountable to becoming the best version of yourself.

Why a program will give you better results

This is for a couple who want more support, proximity and personal touchpoints with me.

My 3-month program is available for couples who are struggling with constant bickering and fighting, anger displays, a lack of warmth and understanding and the love feels like it's gone.

A 6-month program is available for couples where there has been an affair.

Couples that work with me in program with a clear goal get the best results because:

  • There's a beginning and an end.
  • You're both clear about the goal you're working towards.
  • You get a mix of couples therapy and coaching which accelerates your progress.
  • There's more accountability because you check in with me twice a week.
  • You know the total cost of your investment because it's a flat fee based on the number of sessions and coaching.
  • You'll gather momentum with weekly sessions and mid-week check-ins. More proximity with me allows you to collapse time, see how I think and expand your worldview.
  • The certainty of knowing the above makes it easier for you to commit to the work to be done to achieve our goal.

'How do we know this is going to work for us?'

Sadly, many couples who go to  therapy drop out, concluding that 'couples therapy doesn't work for us' and either struggle on together unhappily for years (or decades)have an affair and/ or file for divorce. However, the actual problem was that in traditional couples therapy there's often a lack of clarity and direction. The therapist and method they chose wasn't right for them. Many couples therapists are also generalists and haven't specifically trained to work with couples so it's also possible you didn't do the depth of work you needed to in therapy to see a profound change.

This always makes me feel sad as a therapist, because I know this particular couple didn't find out in time what the Power Struggle was, or the powerful tools in Imago Relationship Therapy they can learn to get the positivity and safety back into their relationship.

You've met your 'Imago Match'

What many couples don't understand is that the choice of your current partner is no coincidence. You were attracted to and specifically chose this person because you unconsciously sensed in some way that they carried the potential to hurt you in the exact same way you were hurt by your parents, or main caregivers from childhood. In Imago Relationship Therapy we call this your 'Imago Match'. Many couples don't know they still carry hurt (or unfinished business)from childhood into their adult romantic relationships. It's usually around a theme of wanting to be loved, accepted, prioritised, or celebrated in a way you longed to be as a child but weren't.

At this point you have the choice to either divorce and repeat this pattern again (which is inevitable if you haven't done the work to heal it)or to make the whole process you're in conscious and learn the skills to cultivate a loving conscious relationship. This is what I call a 'Power Couple', born out of the Power Struggle. 

I believe as long as you're willing to do the work, and you don't care what it takes – that you're totally 'in' – your relationship can be wildly and totally transformed. Even after an affair.

How you'll know we've reached our goal: 

  • You'll both be feeling real warmth and affection again, where there was previously little to none
  • You'll both know how to communicate so you both hear each other
  • You'll both know how to approach and resolve areas of conflict, and there is always a repair
  • You'll both feel relaxed enough to listen in order to understand your partner better, not to retort
  • You'll both feel like you've got each other's backs
  • You'll both appreciate that your partner's inner world is completely different from yours
  • You'll both take responsibility for what you are personally bringing to your relationship
  • You'll both be taking care of the Space Between You every day (Read more about this in my book)

What to do if you're a couple in crisis:

If there has been an affair and you're both committed to coming back together, my Power Struggle to Power Couple (After An Affair)6-month program provides the much needed extra time commitment and space for us to support you two in coming back from this.

Accredited by

Logo for the UK Council for PsychotherapyLogo for the UK Council for PsychotherapyAccreditation Logo: Professional Standards Authority.

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If you're ready to start healing your relationship, please book your free 15-minute clarity call to determine your commitment and suitability day.

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