As featured in The Guardian, BBC, Stylist and Metro.co.uk, Shan Merchant is a UKCP-accredited couples therapist working with couples in Harrogate and across North Yorkshire, as well as online via Zoom.
Many of the couples I work with locally are high-functioning, thoughtful people whose relationship looks “fine” from the outside – but no longer feels safe, connected, or sustainable on the inside.
This work is about restoring emotional safety, rebuilding trust, and helping you decide – with clarity – how to move forward together.
What's missing is emotional safety — and structure.
My unique blend of psychotherapy training and Imago couples counselling expertise will help you get there. So let's do it together.
BOOK YOUR FREE 15-MIN CLARITY CALL
– Imago Relationship Therapy gives couples a clear, repeatable way to communicate when emotions are high.
You learn a structured dialogue you can use both in sessions and at home:
This slows reactivity, reduces defensiveness, and creates emotional safety.
For couples at home, this often means:
Couples need a properly designed and proven communication practice that will help you understand each other better, support you while working through the ups and downs of life together, plus deepen your connection and the feeling of being a team.
Many couples find that strengthening their relationship through Imago relationship therapy spills over into many other areas of their lives. Their parenting improves, family dynamics with their own parents or siblings improve – even their relationships with colleagues and clients improve.
This is practical, skills-based couples therapy. We work on:
Without emotional safety, progress is fragile.
Patterns repeat. Trust stays shaky. Therapy drags on.
The work with me is direct, structured, and focused on real change.
I work with couples because I know — personally and professionally — how destabilising it feels when emotional safety disappears inside a relationship.
In my own life, I’ve experienced how essential it is to feel emotionally close to your partner, to be able to turn towards each other in distress, and to know that repair is possible when things go wrong. When that safety is missing, everything else starts to feel harder.
These are not unusual needs. They’re human ones.
My work focuses on helping couples rebuild that safety so conversations stop causing harm and start supporting trust, connection and steadiness again.
Sessions last 90 minutes. Our first session is an in-depth consultation where I learn about your relationship history, what has brought you to therapy, and where things feel most fragile or stuck.
From there, the work becomes structured and practical. I don’t leave couples to “talk it out” and hope for the best. I actively guide conversations using the Imago Dialogue structure, slow things down when emotions rise, and intervene when familiar patterns begin to take over.
Couples often tell me that this is the first time conversations feel contained, safer, and genuinely productive — both in sessions and at home.
Imago Dialogue is a structured conversation method that replaces interrupting, criticising and getting defensive with genuine listening, validating each other's perspective and real empathy. This calmer rhythm reduces reactivity and, with practice, actually rewires your brain toward safety and connection. This creates fundamental change in your relationship. For more details, check out What is Imago Relationship Therapy?
There’s no fixed requirement, but meaningful change takes time and practice.
Many couples plan for around 10–12 sessions, meeting weekly at first and then moving to fortnightly. When there has been long-standing conflict, emotional withdrawal or betrayal, the work often takes longer so new ways of relating have time to settle.
Progress usually shows up as:
- fewer escalations
- quicker repair after conflict
- conversations feeling safer and calmer
- more warmth, clarity and teamwork
No. While I’m working with you as a couple, I don’t see either partner individually.
This boundary protects neutrality and keeps the work focused on the relationship itself rather than pulling it into separate loyalties.
Many couples choose to do individual therapy alongside couples work with a different therapist. This can be a powerful combination — couples therapy becomes the “we” space, while individual therapy supports personal exploration elsewhere.
If couples work ends and one of you wishes to continue individually, that can be discussed openly — provided both partners are aware and feel comfortable with the change.
If you later decide to return to couples therapy together, I would refer you to another couples therapist to maintain neutrality.
In some situations, I may recommend individual therapy with a separate practitioner from the outset if that feels like the safest or most supportive route.
We can work flexibly. Some couples cluster sessions. Others meet on Zoom from different locations when work or travel makes in-person sessions difficult. The effectiveness of the work comes from the structure and consistency, not the physical room we’re in.
Fortnightly sessions are usually the most effective rhythm once the work is established. This allows time to practise between sessions and notice real shifts.
During periods of crisis — such as after an affair — weekly sessions can provide additional support and containment. At the beginning, I often suggest a few closer-together sessions to build confidence with the process.
Yes. Although I originally preferred working in person, moving my practice online showed me that this work can be just as deep and effective on Zoom. What matters is the quality of attention, structure and engagement – not the format.
Many couples appreciate the discretion, flexibility and ease online sessions offer. I'd love to have the opportunity to meet with you both online.
