Couples Contract

Confidentiality

All information will be kept confidential between you and me as the couple with the following exceptions:

• I reserve the right to break confidentiality if instructed to by a court of law.
• I reserve the right to break confidentiality if I believe that either of you are going to cause physical harm to another individual.
• I reserve the right to break confidentiality if I believe either of you are going to physically harm yourself.

There is no confidentiality agreement between me and each individual in the couple. If one partner discloses information to me when not in the presence of the other partner, I may share that information during the couple’s therapy session.

There is a possibility I will be discussing your case with other Psychotherapists and my supervisor during my closed supervision group. This is required by the rules of my regulatory body (UKCP) and is beneficial to both clients and therapist. With this in mind I require you to give me permission to video record all sessions.

Recordings are kept for a maximum of 4 weeks. I also frequently re-watch sections of our work to reflect on the process, enhance my understanding of your dynamic and ensure I’m offering the most effective support possible.

Fees

Couples therapy is weekly or fortnightly, depending on your needs. Each session lasts 90 minutes and costs £150 if you see me in person in Otley or on Zoom. If you see me at The Harlow in Harrogate, each session is £175, as this includes a room fee.

Attendance and punctuality

Please give 48 hours’ notice of any cancellation. If it is less that 48 hours you will be charged my full fee. This is because if you cancel with less than 48 hours’ notice it’s too late to fit in other couples who also have very busy diaries. The purpose of this policy is also to help you stay committed to coming. As the work progresses, there may be hard times, and it is easy to avoid them by cancelling and I believe this is not in the best interests of your relationship. Thank you for your understanding.

Individual sessions

Since this is couple’s work, I will only see you individually if absolutely necessary and then it is a decision we will make together. If we have a couple’s session and only one of you shows up, I will not see you and I will charge you for the session.

Responsibilities of the Therapist in an Imago Session

1. To show up for appointments on time and be clear about ending on time.
2. To be clear about my fee and give a one-month warning if I am raising my fee.
3. To be neutral and not take sides.
4. To only talk to you when we are all together, unless we decide together otherwise.
5. To find an equal balance between understanding, compassion and limit setting.
6. To interact in a respectful, non-shaming matter, modelling healthy differentiation.
7. To respond to upset about my behaviour by mirroring, validating, and being empathic and taking responsibility for my impact.
8. To explain the Imago concepts clearly and to have a good balance between process and educating.
9. To give clear homework assignments and support attempts at change.

Responsibilities of the couple in an Imago session

1. To keep appointments by showing up on time and paying the fee. If you do not attend the session within 15 minutes of the start time, I will presume you are not coming and may not be available from then on that day.
2. To be as honest about your feelings and thought as you know them.
3. To follow the directive of the therapist to stay in the process of the dialogue.
4. To be willing to be open and curious about your partner’s reality.
5. To be willing to take responsibility for your part of the situation.
6. To be respectful to your partner in and out of the session.
7. To express upset and complaints to either your partner, or to the therapist rather than friends or family members.
8. To NEVER, NEVER use material from the sessions against your partner.
9. To express appreciations and gratitude for your partner.
10. To take the risk to be vulnerable at whatever level stretches you but does not break you.
11. To give and receive repairs as soon as possible.
12. To become your partner’s advocate.
13. To refrain from contacting me outside of sessions by email, phone or text unless it is to inform me of issues around the appointment.
14. To not consume alcohol or substances that may affect your focus or behaviour 12-24 hours before sessions.

In an emergency

Please note that I am not an emergency service, and I won’t always be able to respond to emails or messages between sessions. If you find yourself in a crisis or need immediate support, please contact one of the following services:

• Dial 111 (select option 2, mental health)
• The Crisis Team 0800 0516 171
• Shout Crisis Text Line (UK): Text "SHOUT" to 8525
• The Samaritans 24/7 – call 116123
• Go directly to A&E, 24 hours (Leeds General Infirmary, Great George St, Leeds LS1 3EX) phone 0113 243 2799